Godspeed Coates!
Rainbow Clown News would like to announce the forthcoming takeover of the southern hemisphere and selected spurs of Holland. General Regis Coates, Horrifying Clown Dictator, promises to mow down anybody who won’t support personal hand trumpets and private amusing nosewear once his new regime bullies its way to the top of the clown country tree machine in May. ‘We clowns hate anyone who is different in the way they spend money’ Coates told Rainbow Clown News in his usual completely odd way, and it was pretty clear he meant it too. He was running around chopping up cattle with hammers and plastic antlers when I last saw him. He is quite insane these days. His hair is now naturally green after a very confusing mind warping last Easter, and he hates pets. If you see Coates in your area over the next few weeks throw him a Mango, he is mad as a bucket of slops and won’t be told otherwise!